Siiiiiiick

It's official. I'm sick. And it's officially sucktacular. Sure, it's a good excuse to leave my house a huge mess, but I feel terrible! I have a nagging headache, a sore neck (from lying down so much), a runny nose, a congested chest, and so on and so forth. What super sucks is I was supposed to go to Olive Garden tonight with some of the girls from church (I'm trying to make new friends and be more sociable). I had to text in sick, which is tragic because I triple love Olive Garden and we were supposed to go to the new one that just opened up the street. Figures. The good/bad news is I also called and canceled my appointment with the bishop's counselor because there's no way I'm going to try to get dressed in my Sunday finest when I feel like a big lump of rotting meat. So now I won't know what my calling is until who knows when. But at least I have another blissful week without a calling! I guess every cloud has a silver, snotty lining.

So, how have I spent the past twenty-four hours? Lying in bed and lying on the couch staring at the TV. I slept like total crap last night because my nose would drip every twenty to thirty minutes and wake me up. I finally just started keeping the Kleenex box next to my pillow. As soon as I'd feel a tickle I'd wake up, blow, and then throw the Kleenex on the tissue pile next to the bed. It's all very sanitary and classy. I'm going to take a Lunesta or Ambien tonight and see if that doesn't help me stay asleep better. Bleeeeeeh!

This morning while I was zoning on the couch I decided I really needed some orange juice and saltines. I called my dad at 11:50 and asked him if he wouldn't be so kind as to run to the store and grab me some. He said my mom had the car (they have one main car and one crappy, unregistered car that they keep for emergencies) but he would tell her to pick me up that stuff as soon as she got home. So I waited...

And I waited.

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Waited some more...

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Finally at 5:00 I called my parents again. This time my mom picked up. "Did Dad gib you by bessage?"

"What message?"

I got her up to speed, and she was horrified to hear that I'd been waiting all day for orange juice and saltines. She got in the crappy emergency car (Dad had obviously forgotten about me and gone to run some errand in the good car) and came over, bringing a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's and enough food to feed a sick person for a week:

Four big cans of soup
Two Cups o' Noodles
One box of saltine crackers
One box of Twinkies
One box toaster strudel
One box Keebler fudge stripe cookies
Two Hostess cherry pies (Gee, I'm starting to get why I have a bit of a weight problem...)
Two bottles of orange juice without pulp

My. Mom. Is. AWESOME!!! I won't lie, I told her a Hostess cherry pie sounded really good, but I didn't tell her to get me the other stuff. When I asked my dad to bring me orange juice I thought about specifying no pulp, but I didn't want to be demanding; I would just be grateful that somebody would bring me delicious juice. But my mom is so awesome she somehow knows I prefer pulpless orange juice, and it's not like we grew up drinking it every day or anything... She's just endowed with that special mom-awesomeness.

Lest you think my dad is some selfish, lazy jerk who won't bring his daughter juice and saltines when she's sick, you should know that he called me when my mom was on the way and apologized profusely. You should also know that he once left a New Year's Eve party when I was seventeen and had a nasty, nasty, nasty flu* to go to the store and buy me chocolate cake from the bakery. I hadn't eaten in days because I had no appetite, and I finally thought that chocolate cake sounded good (can you tell I crave junk when I'm sick?), so I called and asked if he would go buy me a chocolate cake mix. He left the party immediately (it's very rare that my dad actually leaves on errands the second you ask him to go--it's not his fault, it's genetic) and bought me, not a cake mix, but an actual chocolate bundt cake from the bakery. It was delicious because it was delivered with love. And because it was frosted. Too bad I could only get two bites of it down before I passed out again and slept through midnight. But the point is, my dad is as awesome as my mom. Unless he just wasn't having fun at that New Year's Eve party...

Monday is my sister's birthday and my mom and I are supposed to take her to lunch to celebrate. I hope I'm feeling much better by then. Even if I'm not I might just have to suck it up. I don't want to skip out on Olive Garden twice because of this stupid devil cold.



*I only get sick about once every two years because I have an awesome immune system of steel and because I have very limited interactions with the giant germ factories that are children. Sadly, when illnesses do get through, they're the really nasty ones. That's why I remember sicknesses--rarity and severity. Kind of a back-handed blessing.