Men of HGTV

I go through phases in my TV watching. I've been through a House phase, an NCIS phase, a Law & Order: SVU phase... Basically I watch something until I'm so sick of it that I can hardly stand to watch it anymore and/or I've seen all the episodes. Three times each. Right now I'm in my HGTV phase, namely my Income Property and Holmes and Homes phase. I can't get enough.

I've always had a penchant for the quiet, computer-nerd types, but HGTV has started me thinking that maybe I shouldn't be so quick to discount the construction/contractor types. I mean, no, they don't earn their living by typing on a computer and attending pointless meetings all day long, but dang it, they can build and fix things. They handle power tools and haul stuff around with their big muscles. And I'm ready to open-mouth kiss just about anybody whose philosophy is to do something right the first time and make it perfect. Especially Scott McGillivray.


Jack. Pot. The teeth! The pecs! THE HAIR. That hair could bring about world peace. Quick aside: I may or may not have been watching his show Income Property a couple of weeks ago and involuntarily yelled "DAMN IT!" at the top of my lungs when I saw a wedding ring on his finger. Quadruple disappointed sigh.

The other man of HGTV I've been watching is Mike Holmes. I'm so conflicted about him, I can't even tell you. On the one hand he's this really nice guy who is unflinchingly staunch in his construction standards and he has an eye for detail that makes me swoon all day long. But what's up with the wife beaters? I mean, yeah, they show the muscles, which is fawesome, but they also show the ARMPIT HAIR, which is not. And he only ever wears overalls. Seriously, overalls? I can appreciate that tool belts might make your pants fall down, and nobody likes a plumber's crack, but when I think of overalls I envision My Buddy dolls and preschool-aged children. Still, he gets to working and getting all huggy and nice with his clients and I start suggesting that he take off those stupid overalls so we can get to know each other better.

My parents totally ruined Mike Holmes for me by saying that he looks just like this seriously gross guy who used to live in our neighborhood. I was absolutely horrified that they would even think there was a resemblance, but now whenever I look at Mike Holmes all I can think of is our old neighbor. Not sexy at all. Mike does NOT look like the neighbor, but he does look like a ripped version of a guy I was friends with in high school. He had that same low brow and broody look to him. That's a much better association. Trust me.