Not really cute

The other morning a local radio station was conducting a poll: what things do girls think are cute, but really aren't? Here are my answers:

Ugg boots. Sorry, no. They're fugly. The more dangly crap and roadkill you put on them the uglier they get. That's why they're called Ugg. That's the sound you make when you see them.

Crocs. Ditto.

Playing dumb/ditzy. Really? Is it 1956 when girls are still supposed to be inferior to boys? We've come a long way. Try not to ruin it for the rest of us.

Sitting next to your boyfriend/husband in restaurant booths and truck cabs. That's a whole kind of insecure that I just don't understand.

Zac Efron and any Carter brother. Blech. 'Nuff said.

Those vinyl stick figures on your car's back window. Nothing like advertising to would-be kidnappers and child molesters just how many children you have for them to snatch.

Having your three-year-old record your voicemail message. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HIM.

Joint email/Facebook accounts. See comment for "Sitting next to your boyfriend/husband in restaurant booths and truck cabs."